emptymeclean's Xanga

Jesus!....(last day of term 1)

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:30:50 GMT

Jesus fck my life! Sorry but I just need to get that out there. So it's the last day of term 1. I am not posting my weight I'm too pissed off about it and loads more. Hense the only thing I feel can express my frustration is cursing at religious figures that used to be so dear to me. I'm sure there are other ways but they don't feel as good atm.

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Yesterday was a good day but not good enough. On top of that I feel like sometime blogging has no point atal as only 4 people view my blog maybe, sometimes one of them comments. I'm pretty sure it's only looked at because I post thinspo.

I don't feel like posting any pictures today nor really posting atal. Today fcking blows.

Seriously Xanga?!

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:17:58 GMT

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

So I updated Tuesday. You just can't tell. I even put up thinspo and changed my page a bit (mostly to procrastinate studying) and it shows up on my edit page where you can cange your 'feel' or whatever but NOT on the actual page. This is not the first time this has occured. Also not the first time it has failed to put up my post.

I'm done with exmas! It's spring holiday :D

Today is also day 22, 22 being my lucky number I have a good feeling about today, despite the fact I am getting a cold. I just took this cold med that you are supposed to take at the 'first signs' tastes like complete shit. I better not get a cold.

Weddings are quickly approaching, if I don't make my goal weight I don't know what I'm going to do, there will be definate panic attacks involved though.

Not much to say, Good luck on your last week of term one girlies!

Exams!!!

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:28:18 GMT

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Fast: Decided the cracker was okay to ignore because it would confuse my body and hopefuly raise my metab a bit right there. So I'm ignoring my cracker intake. You don't approve, I don't care- this is not your fast, it is mine.

Exams: Till Wednesday. Promise I'll start reading about all you guys soon! ><' The exams are killing me that and I'm still exhausted from France

France: AMAZING. Though some people I went with I don't like. Clubbed all Sat night until atleast 3am. So drunk. I allowed alcohol of course- I knew this at the begging of my fast, but I did not eat. I expected hopefully to loose 1 lb. I did. Probably because I danced so much I was sore the next day.

A lot of people are asking how I fast so long. The answer is less complicated then most people seem to make it especially since after day 3 you are pretty much home free. Energy comes from green tea and lots and lots of water and diet drinks. Don't think I'm not tired or don't sleep more. I do sleep more to provide me with more energy. It works also because when I get home from uni I take a wee nap (15min tops) and it really does the trick. Don't think I'm not hungery either. But hunger is my food. It's the feeling I'm living for because it means I'm becoming thin. Thin is something worth more than anything. If you are determined you will find a way. It is possible.

Last Week of UEN 1: this is the last week of the first term, make it count girlies- I know you can!!

Crackers

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:17:43 GMT

So I ate a cracker/cookie. Just one, but I ate it. I am so furious.

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Normally at day 15 I allow myself to have a fruit- like an apple, orange, etc. Something healthy low cal and can help my body and still count as my fasting. Well f-ck my life. I am about to give up fasting. I feel disgusting. I ate a bloody chocolate covered cracker. I am debating starting my fast over... even though it was for Lent I'll just do my Lent all over again.Or just quitting. Exams are next week. I want to scream.

France is tomorrow!! So excited, clubbing all night long. Except minour(or HUGE) detail. I look dreadful in my clothes because I have not lost the amount I planed I'm 8lbs behind. I don't know what to do. If I had worked out on the days I lazed instead I wouldn't be having this problem.

So thank you everyone for commenting- sorry I've been only posting and not reading your guys blogs- miss you lovelies. I will be more active after I'm back from France and studying for exams are fini!

::Brief Thinspo Dance/Party-like::

^girl in the wedding dress looks small to me, lucky^

^everyone wants ballerina bodies^

^miss notorious Party-Girl-Paris on the left and Britney-Who-Needs-a-Life of the right^

^wish my legs looked that good in a dress^

Always remember the sad but true fact: No one wants to be mates with the fattest girl in the room, let alone be her.

My Poor Head...

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:52:30 GMT

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Unlucky 13 over! Thanks to the girl who said once it's over I don't have to do it again. Sooo true. Kept me from binging yesterday was very close. Not something I want to do.... today is day 14. I managed to loose .5lb yesterday. which is better than the nothing I expected!

So my head- I was standing on a chair to reach a box in my closet. I stood up pretty fast and smacked my head upon the closet doorframe. You know how many closets have a higher ceiling than the door frame- I didn't think about that and wacked the back of my head on that. Hurt so bad. I'm glad I didn't fall off the chair.....but now I have frozen blueberries in a bag resting on my head.

UEN is cool. The homework, though tedious can be very helpful when I feel like I'm getting nowhere with my fast and I'll be fat forever. Nope- not the case! I shan't let that happen. Best of luck to everyone, especially my fellow UEN students.

Cheers. Here is your double thinspo as promised

Crazy Tuesday

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:49:21 GMT

As Always

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Day 13- it's an unlucky number... I'm figuring I don't loose any lbs because of it.

So yesterday- just my luck (seriously!) my mate texted me sick and asked to resched. Thankfully! But thanks everyone who gave advice.

In a horrid rush today. I've got no time to even upload thinspiration. Hope all are doing well- and stay strong and live food free.

To make up for today I'll do a double long post tomorrow. Cheers lovelies!

Oops

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 16:19:38 GMT

Sorry! Anyway- Day 12

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Forgot to post Friday then this weekend is a total complete blur. Brief weight update. Lost 12lbs. which is equal to a lb a day though that is not always how it actually turns out. Meaning, sometimes more sometimes less.

Today I get to meet up with a mate I have not seen in forever. I am terribly excited! However also mad because my weight is not as low as it was supposed to be when I saw him. I am debating on canceling on the pretence of having a wee cold or something akin to illness. I want to see him and have him be like 'wow you are looking so good!' but I haven't seen him in forever and I very much want to chat. I'm concerned though if he sees me now- I will loose more weight- but what if I never hang out with him. He'll just see me as the blob I am now- but if I more back our get-to-gether he will see me more tiny right away.

What should I do?! Suggestions?

my octopus is now finished (I had to fix a few legs), I will upload a foto tomorrow. At which you may all laugh at how pathetic my attempt is! (I already have)

Cheers lovelies. Stay Strong, Live Food Free.

Slow Slow Day

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 15:08:03 GMT

Today is going by sooo slow. Maybe because it is a hard dreary rain

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 510 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Bright Side- still fasting and it is day 9

Down Side- I feel like eating. which I WILL NOT do. Days that go by slowly usually do this to me. Which means time for some self-yoga. Burns cals and keeps me away from thinking of food.

Generally I like rain. Today it just makes me feel tired and bored. Class was dull. Work will be dull. Speaking of work I need another job because I can only get a wee bit of hours on my time sheet because our shop is doing really poorly atm. I'm just glad I haven't been told to leave! That is how slow it is. I've applied places but not gotten called, mostly I believe, because no one is actively hiring.

To me, not complaining- but to me the UEN hmwrk hasn't been that great of late. Though since when is homework great? Mostly it feels a tad boring to me. I missed yesterdays >< I'm sorry! So I'm about to do it today. Thinking maybe outfitting my journal with some lovely thinspo. Make it more unique. Though I do already have a book dedicated just to that. We shall see.

::Thinspo::

Day 8. Just over a week

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:11:26 GMT

not much to say day

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 510 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Weight Lost: .5lb *sigh* I even did yoga for an hour and work out at the gymnasium for 200 calories. Plus drank loads of water and felt amazing. Hopefully that means I gained muscle or something. Total:-9.5lbs

Finished my octopus this morning, but have not taken a foto yet. My apologies. You shall have to wait as I have things like homework and studying to do. Though, I much much rather do crafty things.

hope everyone is doing well- best luck!

::thinspo::

Magic Scale Day!

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:45:36 GMT

UEN Day 2 Fast Day 7

FASTING DAY: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 510 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Sooo bad day with weightloss yesterday morning, stepping on the scale again last night. No change. Was so sad. I wanted to cry. I would not be able to handle my life if I wasn't loosing weight while fasting. Checked my scale this morning. I jumped up and down. I've lost 9lbs since I started the fast, which means I lost 3 yesterday. I don't care what kind of weight I lost, it is the fact I lost it.

I'm going off to yoga now- just wanted to get some update incase I can't manage one later today- Tuesday is my super busy day. Just note: yoga pants=so very very unflattering for people who weigh too much (like myself) It took a lot of convincing for my mate to get me to go- but in the end, I realize it will only help me actually look good in yoga pants! That will be a blessed day.

My octopus is almost finished. I shall post a picture when it is done! Dzień dobry! -good morning in Polish (my learn a new language day)

Cheers everyone- drink lots of water!